Achieving Ataraxis (Peace of Mind)

Freudian theory coined the term Psychological Defense Mechanism and described it as an unconscious strategy for protecting one’s self from troubling or disquieting feelings. In the context of striving to achieve ataraxis, a psychological defense mechanism is a thought or series of thoughts, outside of your awareness, that prevents you from feeling distress at the expense of objective reality.

For example, someone may say to you that you are being rude. Instead of looking at this as a possibility that you should examine objectively, your psychological defense mechanism kicks in causing you to ignore the comment or blame someone else or circumstances for the other person’s perception that you are rude. So, you might think, “I’m not being rude, he/she is overly sensitive” or “Anyone who has had the kind of day that I have had, is entitled to be a little abrupt and arrogant”.

This example is a only a hint of the potential for a psychological defense mechanism to preserve a sense of psychological comfort. Numerous specific defense mechanisms have been described by various authors and a variety of ills, from minor to severe, have been attributed to overusing these defense mechanisms.

Leaving the term psychological defense mechanism aside, my observation is that most people preserve their own psychological comfort by not attending to thoughts or sensory information that is disquieting to them. This is often called “denial”. To accomplish this task they must keep these thoughts outside of their awareness. They must disassociate from their thinking and feeling. This, of course, is done at the expense of objective reality (a reality that is as close to reality as any one person can come).

Sometimes this disassociation from reality is used to ignore physical pain or other physical or psychological symptoms that produce disquiet. Sometimes this dissociation is used to remain comfortable in the presence of risk (take a close look at the risk associated with driving a car to appreciate the role of disassociation in this regard). Frequently this disassociation is used to preserve a sense of self that is objectively different from reality. For example, a person may think of him or her self as generous (or attractive or healthy) when in reality, he or she is not perceived by others as being generous (or attractive or healthy).

There will be more complete treatment of what “sense of self” means in the pages that follow. The warning to be emphasized here is to be alert for your own tendency to dissociate from disquieting feelings – to keep them or push them away from your awareness. In other words, practice awareness of objective reality even if it causes discomfort. Following this warning will make it possible for you to accelerate your journey toward ataraxis because you will be closer to perceiving reality accurately and better positioned to make appropriate changes.

For example, if you accept the feedback that you are being rude, you can start to explore how your interaction with others hints at frustrated wants or disapproval or some other state that is inconsistent with ataraxis. Accepting legitimate feedback provides an opportunity for growth that dissociating from the feedback does not. This is yet another benefit of practicing the skill of awareness.

You may notice a preference in the posts that follow for describing thinking and not feeling.  This prioritization of thoughts and feelings is intentional but it is not meant to devalue the role and importance of feelings.  Indeed, feelings are as critical to the process of seeking ataraxis as thoughts.  It does reflect the view that you can direct thoughts but you cannot direct your feelings unless you first direct your thoughts.  This view allows for spontaneous feelings or feelings that arise without a thought but does not allow for directing or modifying feelings unless first directing thoughts.  

After all, you can do things like exercising or listening to music to make yourself feel better.  You can change take medicine or drugs or certain foods to improve your feelings.  You cannot direct yourself to feel better without first thinking, however.  

Finally, at the risk of stating the obvious, thoughts can generate feelings and feelings can generate thoughts in an unending cycle.  This cycle can become self-perpetuating, particularly when mindlessness is at work.  Indeed, it may be impossible to separate thoughts and feelings if someone is profoundly unaware of the causal relationship they have.  In any event, thoughts and feelings are intertwined, even though the discussion below focuses on thoughts alone to start.